porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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