i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
