I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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