um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
