guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
