Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
