I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i will never coherently bang her
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
