grandma shit on top of the toilet
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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