Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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