epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i think i just lost a toe
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