Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
