This girl is more easily done than said...
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
