2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
either way he was missing a nipple.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
