if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize