this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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