And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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