dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
