turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
