It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
