billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
