I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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