My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
