he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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