why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
