he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
