real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
