time to smoke my breakfast
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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