I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
