what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
