how can u be prego again
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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