I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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