We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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