Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize