you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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