my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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