she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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