Don't you send me to vm
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
