operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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