You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
