Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize