the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
