We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
