we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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