You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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