morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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