just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
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I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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