I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My life is pants optional.
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