HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
