Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
babies were throwing up all over the place
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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