I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
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so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
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I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize