Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
