and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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