Apparently you make a good broom.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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