who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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