I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
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We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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