if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize