I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
