? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
