i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
