the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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